(Too Rude and Yukky)

I gave my uncle Ronnie

A cup of tea I’d sneezed in

He didn’t seem to notice

In fact it seemed to please him.

 

I gave my auntie Lynda

A scrummy slice of cake

But a bit of coughed out spit

Dropped on it by mistake.

 

The pie I gave my sister

Had an appetising smell

But the plaster from my blister

Dropped in there as well.

 

I passed a plate of ice-cream

To my hungry mum

Who didn’t see the lumpy bits

Were spat out chewing gum.

 

I gave my cousin Simon

A sandwich made of chicken

That I noticed far too late

The cat had just been sick in.

 

They shouted and were angry,

I worried not a jot

Because I saw them drink the milk

In which I popped my spot!